


Josh and Ami play a Nuzloce \ We're Too Old For Starters

by The Mushroom Queen (orphan_account)



Category: Pokemon
Genre: Nuzlocke, Nuzlocke Challenge, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-11-20 00:49:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11325216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/The%20Mushroom%20Queen
Summary: My best friend and I are doing a co-op nuzlock, i'm posting mine here [http://were-too-old-for-starters.tumblr.com] and hes posting his version here[https://joshua-plays-pkmn.tumblr.com/]:)this will be awful.





	1. Starters?

**Author's Note:**

> He is actually this perverted irl and it bugs me a bit more than i wrote.

Starters?

Usually, when you start a pokemon journey, you’re a teen or younger. Not when you’re of drinking age and when one of you has a kid already, but when they pay is good and you need the coin, it isn’t a hard choice to make. The gig was to do a run through of the gym challenge for Professor Juniper to test the skills of the current gym leaders and see if they needed to be updated or if they were strong enough to continue as the gym leader of their towns. Now how they were supposed to be ‘covert’ when they were 21 and 23 was beyond them, yet there they stood; a 6′2″, 21 year old guy, and a 5′3″, 23 year old chick waiting to get their ‘starters’.

Josh seemed a bit excited to be starting over again, especially since the two hadn’t seen each other in years to begin with, while his partner for the journey -Ami- seemed more embarrassed than enthusiastic about it.

“Aw, cheer up!” Ami rolled her eyes at her long time friend’s over enthusiasm of the situation, “Your grandma can take care of the baby, you don’t have to worry about it, and besides, we haven’t done this together since Kanto!“

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t be doing this for free and you know it. I’d rather be playing with her and my Zubat. They wouldn’t even let me bring him!” 

“They wouldn’t let me bring my pokemon either Amilly.”

Ami sighed in lamination and annoyance at how nonchalant Josh was about just about every thing. He wasn’t wrong though, and she knew it.

“Hopefully we can get this run done quickly…“ She grumbled in defeat as she saw the assistant they were told would be arriving with their starters trotting up and grimaced at her. Blonde hair, red glasses, and a body that was all fan service.  
“Oh great.” She side glanced at her friend to gauge his reaction of her; She snarled at how he oggled her,  
“Shes 16 you fucking pervert. She’s illegal.”

Unfazed. Completely undeterred and laughing. Groaning in disgust and annoyance, Ami gave a curt nod and wave to the girl.

“You guys must be the gym testers Dr. Juniper told me about, right!?” And she was bubbly to boot. Ami glanced hard at her friend quickly once before giving up and letting them do what they will.

“Yeah, I’m Josh and this is my best friend, Amilly.” Josh went straight for a hug, much to his more standoffish friend’s discomfort, who took a step back even.

“Literally do not ever call me that, only he’s allowed to call me that. My name is Ami… and if I can get my Snivey, you two can ‘get to know each other’ all you want.”

Bianca looked [understandably] taken aback and just handed the lady her pokeball with the green leaf on it; the standard grass type starter.

“You didn’t pick the fire type? Isn’t that your thing?” Josh quipped, attempting to take a shot at her monotyping, but it just rolled off her. Right up until she released the little snake and realized it was the most timid pokemon she’d ever seen!

She curled her lip in disgust and disbelief at it then the two with her.  
“It’s timid! What kind of a starter is timid!?” Bianca, being less used to the outbursts of anger than the other, hid behind the guy, “What if I had never had a pokemon before!? This shit would deter any newbie from being a trainer!”

“That.. Um, thats-” She got cut off by Josh’s bemusement,  
“She wont hurt you, just say what you wanna.”  
“Thats… why Professor Juniper, um, gave him to you.”

“…Oh.” It made sense to Ami, though now she regretted her outburts, especially once she saw how frightened her pokemon was of her now. She huffed at it then turned back to Josh and his new friend and challenged him to show his pokemon to them. She grinned, expecting just as measly a pokemon but instead looked at an otter that was doing no less than sizing every one up before snuffing them.

“The git!” She snarled, “What fucking rude ass shit is that?! …. actually thats what I was expecting from mine…“ She glanced at her cowering grass snake and shoved it fout in the open from behind her with her foot.

“Well, one solution to both, right?”

Josh chuckled a bit, “Yeah, sure. It’s not like you ever beat me though.”

“ **IF YOU WOULD USE ANYTHING BUT WATER TYPES AGAINST MY FLAREON I MIGHT!** ”

Josh shrugged in an overly dramatic, teasing way, “Not my fault I know type advantages." 

 Ami looked deadpanned at the boy before nudging her Snivey with the toe of her shoe,   
"Hey you.” It flinched and the female could already feel her agitation grow concerning this creature but she tried her best to ignore it,   
“Your to low level to know any other attack than tackle, right?" 

The Snivey glanced around before nodding pitifully. Ami nodded in understanding, as she knew starters were near newborns and had no basic training other than to run full charge at their enemy. She flicked her finger towards the Oshawott Josh had near his feet,   
"Then get to it scrub. Tackle the soggy fur ball till it can’t move any more.”

 The Snivey, mentally already having been named Kuuva, looked wide eyed in fear but quickly turned towards its opponent when given a sharp glare.

 "Oh really? It’s like that?“ Josh jested, crossing his arms,   
"They’re only level five Amilly, type advantage won’t save you here.” He grinned and stuck out his tongue playful as usual, earning a grin from his opposite.

 "We’ll see, I’m hoping for a surprise here.  **SNIVEY GO!** “ She hollered at her hesitating snake, causing him to bolt and ram into the Oshawott who hadn’t expected the pitiful Pokémon to relent and move.

 "Win and I’ll keep ya Snivey… How’s ‘Kuuva’ sound?” She encouraged with a grin.

 "She’s really going to give him back if he looses?“ Bianca whispered worriedly to Josh, only for him to shake his head curtly,  
 "Nah- Gin, get'em back!  **Stop fixing your fur and tackle!** \- She already picked a name so she’ll keep the lil guy. I think she’s just egging it on to fight.”

 "Oh… Is she always this mean?“ 

 "Sorta. She’s more short tempered than actually mean though." 

” **I CAN STILL HEAR YOU FUCKS!** “ Ami barked. 

 With the distractions of trainers being not so professional, Kuuva was able to land a critical head butt on Gin while he’s desperately tried to smooth out his fur that had been ruffled while attacking and being attacked, knocking him down the stairs and effectively knocking him out of the fight. To which Ami just stared at the unconscious otter,  
 "That was quick……. Does that count as a win?”


	2. Grinding

Ami, being kind of embarrassed at the unusual win and very uncomfortable whenever Josh was around any one else -especially pretty ones- she decided to stay back and grind while he went off with her to explore and train and what ever else he wanted to do.

They were both given a map before she wondered off to the nearest patch of tall grass. She waited until she couldn't see any one around before she took her Snivey out of its pokeball and let it wonder around in the grass a bit.  
"Kuuva," the little snake hesitantly made its way over to its trainer,  
"You don't have to be scared of me." She sounded either angry nor sympathetic, just matter of fact. She sat with the Pokémon and pet it till it was at ease before she went on with what she wanted to inform it of.  
"I'm not as nice as my friend is, and I use strength over strategies." Kuuva looked a bit fearful of this declaration but stayed still none the less, "I played for Valor back home, and my Pokémon don't always win, but they're damn sure strong. The way I run things, you fight to the death or you fight to the win," she grinned at the fearful little green Pokémon, "and to do that, we need to grind and grind hard. So! Are you with me or not, Kuuva?"

Kuuva stared with wide eyes as he thought over the offer. It clearly was an offer; he could just leave if he wanted to it seemed... or, he could get stronger and not be afraid of every thing any more.

He gave a meek nod of approval, gaining a smirk from his trainer (and more pets) before she got up and started rustling through the grass to find him a target.

 

"Your gunna mash tackle till you can take down a tree, but first we gotta take out a bunch low level fodder to strengthen you up and put some callus on your skin."

It didn't take long for Ami to find a sewaddle and kick it out onto the flattened grass for Kuuva to get. The fact that it was screeching though, made Kuuva hesitate and loose the first attack as the sewaddle had immediately tackled him, dealing small bits of damage but damage all the same.

"Kuuva! Tackle the bitch!"

Ami's yelling startled Kuuva into action as he was a lot more scared of how she sounded when she barked orders at him than he was of the lower leveled Pokémon she had him spar with. A couple hours went by like that, Ami using mother potions than hospital visits, until she checked in with the Pokémon center and heard that he hadn't been back and must be up at the farm.

It wasn't a bad guess, and she had a map, so Ami figured she and Kuuva could just make it up there easily and keep grinding along the way. At least he wasn't hesitating any more.


	3. The Farm

With a healed up Snivey in arm, Ami headed up to the farm at the head of town to go look for her friend. Kuuva had leveled enough to attempt the area he was in, hopefully, so at least she could go train with him like they had planned to.

Upon actually getting there though, she realized the farm was a lot bigger than anticipated and set Kuuva down at her feet.  
"Ok... big farm I guess." Kuuva chuffed in response, looking around idly, "well... I guess we can grind while we look for him any way." Ami sighed, ringing the back of her neck in anxiety. She didn't actually like being alone even though she didn't really like being around people either and her only acception was currently missing.

Kuuva tapped her leg and gave a meek smile, being somewhat used to the flip switch emotions by now. His trainer jumped from being startled by him but grinned back,  
"We need a team mate, the first one we find here, WE TAKE IT!" She snickered, grasping the air and tanking it towards her body.

Snivey wasn't that comfortable with the context, but he cheered any way. The idea of having help fighting seemed better to him than to have to do it all himself at least.

As luck would have it, the next Pokémon they saw was a Mareep. A very gentle one at that, about half the level Kuuva was, so Ami just asked if she would like to come with them and look for Josh. The little sheep seemed more curious with Kuuva than in helping but it worked all the same; she accepted being captured and kept sniffing about Kuuva's leaves and shocking him with her static. 

"She's cute.... I'll call her Kiida if she lasts. Its a cute name I think..." Ami internalized while they went about grinding through the field till she saw Josh at almost the complete other side coming up behind her and had no idea how he got behind them, but more pressing was that he was talking to the owners of the place so she decided to check out the forest on the property since she had already been told trainers were allowed to be here and didn't think she actually needed to ask to be there... hence why she jumped the fence rather than speaking to the owner.  
She figured he was just training so she didn't see the harm in just going ahead and training her Pokémon a bit more before he found her.

Really there was nothing but a surplus of Mareep and Riolu that she wanted to capture but it got away. She was in the middle of a match when he finally did catch up with her.  
"He's here! Finish it Kuuva!"

I waited until the psyduck was motionless before sprinting off with Kuuva at my heel to go greet him.

“Hey Amily what’s up?" I grinned a little and waved at him before I got up to him and coiled around his arm, "You mind helping me really quick I’m trying to find the couple’s Herdier and I don’t think it got itself lost either”.

I could feel the confusion scrunch up my face,  
"It's a pet dog though, it'll go home when it gets hungry... my dogs run off all the time but they usually come back in a few days."

Josh slumped a bit and gave an exasperated sigh,  
"Come on, I just wanna find it before it gets too dark."

I gave a full hearted deadpan and even stepped back to look up at him,  
"Or, just a thought, OTHER PEOPLES PROBLEMS CAN STAY OTHER PEOPLES PROBLEMS! Seriously, we don't have time to be heros... we're on a dead line-"  
"No, you're on a dead line." We'll sort of right, "I can take as long as I damn well please, thank you very much."

Ami huffed and flung her arms up in defeat before letting them go limp at herself and slumping back with her head lolled back as well,  
"Okaaaayyyyy, fuck. I hate you and yer goofy two shoe ass man... whudo we do then?"

"See?" The taller boy grinned in cheaply won triumph and started walking down the path again, "I think they went this way, cmon!"

"They? They who!?" Ami scuttled off after Josh trying to keep up as he stayed ahead of her until they actually came across someone.

"Oh... ok u win I guess." Ami shrugged, leaning against the tree watching with disinterest. "What now fearless leader?"

"Well... go try to fight him I guess."

Ami snorted, "How're we gunna do that."

"Iunno, that's your problem, I'm gunna go untie the mutt since all my Pokémon are worn out."

Ami sprang up and looked at him like he just tried to cut off her head or something,  
"And y should I do the dirty work? Kuuva isn't a diamond ya know, and we've been trainin out here too!"

But it was too late, he'd already scurried off and ran risk of being caught.

"Yeah, imma kick his ass. Hold me to it Kuuva..." she sighed, gesturing for the little snake to follow her out into view.

"HEY FUCK FACE!"

A grunt -presumably male but it was hard to tell with the uniform- whipped their attention towards the brunette and her Snivey.

"GIVE THE HERDIER BACK OR GET READY TO GET WRECKED MOTHER FUCKER!"

The older grunt laughed a bit, mistaking Ami for a younger trainer, “Girl you really think you can beat me? I’m part of team plasma and we don’t lose”!

Ami grinned at the sorely mistaken old man, “Well plan on getting your ass kicked today dick head." She dropped the fighting stance she'd naturally fallen back into to stand far too casually and flicked her finger towards the guy,  
"Kuuva, kill it." She grinned with too much amusement as her Snivey bolted at the man and rammed his head into his stomach as hard as he could.  
"Kuuva... vine whip." She chuckled a bit, "thieves who get caught get their hands removed don't they?"

"Hey jerk, you might wanna RUN!? I already freed the Herdier," Josh proclaimed as he swatted the dog's ass and sent it sprinting back home, "And it doesn't look like you've got any other Pokémon to fight with buddy."

“Fine but you haven’t heard the last of team plasma the next time you encounter team Plasma you will lose and we will liberate your Pokémon for a better world for both Pokémon and people”.

The two had a bit of a laugh as they watched the bruises and bloodied jerk stumble frantically through the brush trying to escape with his tail between his legs.

“Thanks Amily once we get off this farm and I heal up my Pokémon We should have a battle at the training grounds at the Pokémon center”

Ami snorted a bit and started walking back through the trail with a panting Kuuva draped over her shoulder, "No prob, I don’t mind saving your ass every once and awhile" she grinned back at him boastfully


	4. Basic Badges and Basic Bitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***Mention of mild gore and nakedness***
> 
> You should really read joshs side of the story though...

Last night had been … well, weird. And embarrassing. I sat back in the gym watching Gin beat the hell out of a Patrat but I couldn’t pay much attention to it. Last night’s embarrassment kept replaying in my head and making me more and more irritated and flustered. 

  
_After running into josh who unbeknownst to me -thanks nurse joy!- was sharing a room with me and banged my head on the ground so hard that I didn’t even look to see who ran into me before I started yelling at them. Then to top it all off he saw me forget my clothes when I went to take a shower. I always take my clothes in with me but as my god awful luck would have it, I forgot them on my bed… which yeah I do tend to forget things more since the baby, but still… he saw me go to grab them and just stared at me till I hid under the covers. I really don’t like how I look and it’s even worse when other people see me… then after I’d managed to fall asleep after berating myself long enough he grabbed my Mareep’s tail and shocked the living hell out of every one in the room!_

  
I sighed in aggravation. My luck sucked, as always, and by the looks of how Josh’s battle was going, it didn’t look good for my team. He clearly was higher in level than Kiida or Kuuva was, and he even had an extra Pokémon on his team.

“Shoulda caught some fodder…” I mumbled as I fingered the smooth edge of Kuuva’s pokeball.

  
Josh’s battle ended with his team just hanging on and him looking almost fearful at having nearly lost his team mates. I walked up to the stand expecting to. After all, the first gym is always a bitch.  
I tapped the back of Josh’s arm with the back of my knuckles as I passed him,“Good fight… they lived.”

  
We both kind of nodded and I stepped up to my challenger’s position while Cheren healed his Pokémon for the next match.  
“How long have you been a leader kid? Most newbies have an on staff medic for this.”

  
The very Kantonese looking boy didn’t even spare a glance,“My name is not ‘kid’, I would appreciate the respect a gym leader deserves, even if you are only my second opponent.”

  
I grimaced, “Well, you lost to a veteran fighter a lot older than you, so don’t take it too hard to loose your first battle as a gym leader.” Cheren almost looked great fun, but I wasn’t about to have that,“Too bad I’m not as nice… we fight to the death on my team.”I tossed out Kiida as my first choice since I figured her to be the safe bet. Cheren looked less than impressed, steely almost.

  
“I’m sorry to hear that…” he motioned for his first Pokémon to step into the field since it was already out of its pokeball.

  
I nodded recognition to Cheren and the fight started, a Leer came from the little rodent that Kiida hardly noticed, but even if she had taken any thought about it, we had a plan.

“Kiida, thunder wave~” I could hear the unintended purr in my voice as I said it but tried not to pay it any mind. Being embarrassed over myself would have ruined the excitement I was having at thinking I might actually have a chance at this with out much damage.

  
“Patrat! Come on! Move!” Cheren begged his paralyzed rat while I grinned and crossed my arms, already calling this round a win.

  
“Kiida, tackle!”  
She bolted as quick as her little sheep legs would carry her and I had to stare in a bit of amazement as she OHKOed the poor vermin. Cheren recalled the downed rat with a nod to me, acknowledging the loss but not willing to let the creature die.

  
Kiida trotted back over to me and let me kneed into her wool on the top of her head and praise her for doing better than I expected of her. Then out came a lilipup and I shifted at it.

“Cheren, it’s not even evolved a little! Don’t you wanna at least try to win?” I chuckled a bit, riding a bit of high from the last win.“I bet even Kuuva could beat the furball!”

  
“Well why don’t you just test that assumption.” It wasn’t a question and the fact that he wasn’t in the slightest perturbed put me off and agitated as well.

  
We took out so many lilipup I didn’t see the harm in letting Kuuva try… yeah it was a durable lil guy, but Kuuva was getting there too! I pulled his pokeball out of my shorts pocket and haphazardly tossed it in the ring to release my little snake. He came to life on the field and looked around in confusion, which was understandable seeing as he’d never been in a ring, none the less one up on some slats no less.

  
“Ku, explore later, fight now.” And before I could even finish the thought, Cheren’s Lilipup was sprint towards my Snivey.

“LOOK OU-” The puppy ran right into the side of Kuuva’s scull, dead on. The sound they made on impact made my heart skip a beat and I wasn’t convinced he hadn’t just crushed my Pokémon’s scull.

  
I looked over to Josh for some kind of reassurance that my Pokémon wasn’t dead but he looked just as fearful for him; then a screech that made every one in the room jump.

‘Ok, not dead. Not dead is good!’ I thought a bit frantically.

  
Kuuva was holding his head and writhing as he unleashed the blood curdling screams and I could see why now: his head was definitely split open and bleeding.

  
“Kuuva! Kuuva come on suck it up a little!”

  
He couldn’t hear me and that damn dog was still trying to attack him.

  
“Would you like to withdraw from the fight?” Cheren dared with a ghost of a grin on his face.

  
“Kuuva,” I snarled at the idea of a loss, “Scream all ya want but vine whip the bitch!”

  
Two vines sprang from the blades of grass at Kuuva’s shoulders and thrashed around wildly and with out target, being used more as a defensive move than the attack it was intended to be.

  
“God damn it just switch Pokémon!”   
I whipped around to glare at Josh for piping up,

“HE CAN DO THIS!”

  
“ HE’S PROBABLY GOT BRAIN DAMAGE!”

  
Snarling at what I would consider a defeat under any circumstance, I withdrew my Snivey and ordered Kiida to tackle the lilipup and pin it, which she did flawlessly.

  
“Beautiful Kiida… now thunder shock!” I snickered at the absolute fear in Cheren’s eyes. Finally an emotion!

  
He threw his pokeball so fast i was genuinely surprised it beat the lighting.

  
“I yield.” Cheren looked as unimpressed as ever. We stared each other with palpable aggression before he broke away and begrudgingly gave up the Basic Badge.

“The way you fight your Pokémon is deplorable you know.”  
I just nodded and saluted him with a peace sign as I walked down the wooden stairs to leave.

I looked at my badge, a 'basic badge’ it was too. She followed josh out of the gym harboring a great and sinking annoyance. They were too old to have won so poorly. And ontop of that, every one had seen how poorly Kuuva battled and had to be saved by an already worn out Kiida.  
She became even more annoyed when she walked out of the gym and saw Bianca waiting for them (or more presumably not her) when she just wanted to heal her Pokémon and maybe catch another so her battles wouldn’t be so near death.  
“You got a badge!” The blonde near shrieked when she saw us. Ami hardly listened to her prattling, choosing to distance herself from the two until she could get on with it. Or at least right up until the professor was called and she had to admit how She had watched Josh nearly bail to save his Pokémon and how she herself nearly had a dead team.  
“Yeah, I’d say the new gym leader is worth it… for now. Or we simply suck, but what ever.” She sighed when asked about it.  
She got away from the conversation as quickly as possible as to get her Snivey checked into the center asap


	5. As much of the WIP as I had before we stoped being friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WIP but discontinued

Ami waited at the end of town, ready to go onto the next one. All she needed was her traveling partner, who up till now hadn't really done much traveling with her, much to her own sadness.  
After their near losses and a sever blow to her team, she figured they had a lot of grinding time to catch up and figure out what they were going to do.

When he finally did meet up with her, she was looking into the woods and didn't even hear him come up and jumped horrible when he poked her side and scared her half to death.

"Jeez, jumpy much?" He grinned and walked past her, leaving her to trot behind him in attempt to keep up with his much longer strides.

"Well what if you were an ursaring? Should I just never startle ever?" She quipped sarcastically.

"Truuuuue," he mused as he had to stop and let the girl catch up to him and messed up her hair as soon as she reached him, "Your so slow!" She pouted at the overly familiar jab but didn't say anything about it. It would have just been repetitive any how.

"So how's your Snivey?" Josh spoke up a little while later as he was bored of the silence that had overtaken the two; Ami had zoned out into the trees again. An old habit of getting stuck in her own head.

She jumped subtly whipped around to face him with full [startled] attention on her face.  
"Oh... uh, Kuuva's gunna be okay... he got his scalp split open from the impact and it needed stitches, but no brain physical trauma or scull fractures.... there was a bunch of splinters in his vines though, from Cheren's platform. I told the professor about it and she's gunna talk to Cheren about a safer battling arena..."She felt she was rambling a bit and just trailed off as it was no longer relevant to the question. "Uh, how're ur Pokémon doing? Cheren's team hits pretty hard for low level fighters..."

Ami nodded to a couple bugs ahead of them to get Josh to see them and get ready to fight while she tossed out her Mareep.

She watched Josh over dramatically throw out his Sewaddle and shook her head at him as she tried not to laugh about it,  
"You watch way too much anime, ya nerd."


End file.
